Missing You
by Celandrea
Summary: X3 spoilers. After leaving for years Logan is back and finds that Rogue is no longer the child he left. Now they have the opportunity for a new beginning but can Logan lay his pain to rest long enough to see what he’s been missing?


Disclaimer: You know the drill, if you recognize it then it's not mine.

Missing You

It all happened by chance, really. If Rogue had been walking by only a few minutes earlier she never would have heard the noises coming from the kitchen.

"The little monsters are out after curfew again," she sighed, adjusting her course to take her to the kitchen.

Pushing open the doors she declared, "Students are not allowed in this area after hours. Please go back to-" She stopped dead when she saw who lounged against the fridge, beer in hand.

"Good thing I'm not a student then, eh?" he said.

"Logan," she breathed. The word sounded more like a prayer than a greeting.

Smiling, he pushed away from the fridge, setting his beer on the counter. That was all the encouragement Rogue needed as she ran to his, throwing her arms around the man she hadn't seen in years.

"Hi kid," he whispered into her hair as he hugged her back.

She held on for a moment longer than politeness allowed but Logan made no protest.

Stepping back she smiled up at him. "It still amazes me that I can do that without knocking you dead."

"It'll take more than you to see me dead. Besides, you've already tried to kill me on several occasions."

"Not on purpose," she argued, sitting on one of the chairs around the kitchen island.

Logan merely smiled and opened the fridge again. He set a beer in front of Rogue and returned to his seat opposite her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, sipping her beer. "It's been… what 6 years now?"

"Something like that."

"I last saw you at my graduation, though you disappeared before I could talk to you."

"I wasn't there to socialize, kid."

"Then why'd you come?"

He shrugged, "Figured someone should go to see you."

Those gruff words touched Rogue deeply. Her family had refused to come anywhere near her, even after she was cured. She had expected her graduation to be just another day, not one to see her or to care. But Logan had cared.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Wouldn't have missed it. You're the closest thing to family I got, kid." Logan took another swig of beer.

"After you took off when…when Jean died I didn't think you'd even know where to find me."

"I talked to Storm before I left to make sure you'd still have a place at the school. She assured me all the cured kids would be welcomed. The outside world was a little hesitant to embrace even cured mutants. There is still a need for a safe haven for all those born with a mutant gene."

"Yeah she was very good about that. None of us were turned away."

"After that, well, I have been checking up on you, kid. Every now and then I dropped by to make sure you were ok."

"What?" she asked, startled.

"I promised to take care of you," he grinned, "I didn't forget."

"I never knew."

"You weren't meant to." Sipping his beer he studied her. "And now look at you. Professor Rogue I take it?"

"Professor Marie, actually. I can't call myself Rogue anymore." She tried to keep the regret out of her voice. Getting cured was the right thing to do, but it meant she had to give up the identity she had always known. Sometimes she missed hearing her friends call her by her mutant name.

Logan snorted. "You'll be Rogue till the day you die. Changing your blood didn't change who you are."

Her eyes widened.

"Don't look so shocked. As long as you have this you'll be Rogue," he reached out to touch the white streaks in her hair. "Getting cured doesn't change that. Just because you don't have a power anymore doesn't mean you're not the same Rogue I knew."

Amazed she looked up and their eyes met. Suddenly she was conscious of the fact they were the only two people awake. Her heart beat speed up and her breath caught in her throat. By the widening of Logan's eyes she saw she wasn't alone in her awareness. A tiny spark of hope lit in her heart. Logan wasn't reacting to her as a child, but as a woman.

Clearing his throat Logan leaned back and asked, "So what happened to the walking ice cube?"

A small smile tugged at Rogue's lips but it quickly vanished as she thought about Bobby. "He left me years ago," she replied, trying to sound calm and unaffected. "He said he just couldn't get over me being cured. He wanted to be with another mutant, not a human. I believe he and Kitty are expecting a batch of kittens very soon."

"Sorry, kid." Logan sympathized. "You were too good for him anyways."

Rogue shrugged. "It didn't feel that way," she confessed. "It made me wonder if I'd done the right thing. The mutants label those who got cured cowards. The humans still lump us in with mutants. We're still outcasts, just of a different kind."

"Hey," he leaned forward and took her hand, "You made the right choice for you. No one else matters." He rubbed his thumb lightly over her hand. "Years ago I could never have done this. Do really miss being isolated from everyone, afraid a brush of your skin will kill those you love?"

Her hand tightened on his. "No," she whispered, leaning closer. They watched each other, only their hands touching.

"Why'd you come back?" she whispered.

"I've been running too long," he replied.

"Did you find what you were looking for?"

His eyes closed briefly. "Maybe."

"It wasn't you're fault, Logan. You did what you had to do. You saved us all."

His eyes were anguished. "I still killed the woman I loved."

A pain stabbed into her heart but Rogue didn't release him. "Have you made your peace with that yet?" she asked.

He nodded once, sharply. "Enough to let me come back."

"I'm glad you came home, Logan." Rogue whispered, leaning a little bit closer.

"Me too, kid. Sorry I stayed away so long," he replied gruffly.

"Make it up to me," she asked softly.

"How?"

She leaned closer still till her meaning was unmistakable. Mentally her mind was yelling at her to sit back or she would ruin their friendship but instead she stared up at his with calm eyes.

A long moment passed before his lips twitched into a tiny smile. "Maybe it's time I stopped calling you 'kid.'"

"Maybe," she agreed.

"This is a remarkably bad idea," he whispered.

"Yeah, I know."

"So why are neither of us moving away?"

"Are you going to kiss me, Logan? Or talk about it all night?" She was shocked by her own daring but Logan's smile turned into a full fledged grin.

"Talking is over rated, I've always said."

Before she could answer he leaned in and touched his mouth to hers. Whatever she had been going to say flew from her mind. Finally, after so long, he was kissing her. She raised a hand to touch his face, deepening their kiss. With a low growl Logan wrapped a hand around her neck and pulled her closer. She angled her head, opening her mouth to him. Logan had never been a man to pass up a good opportunity.

Finally Rogue drew back, needing a breath of air. She watched him closely as she did and saw the flicker of pain in his eyes.

"Regrets?" she asked softly, feeling so fragile a word would break her.

"I'm supposed to look after you."

"I'm not a child, Logan, I don't need a babysitter."

"Still-"

"No. I've wanted to do that for years. Even if you regret it, I never will," she told him, her voice hard. Pushing herself away from him she turned to leave the kitchen.

"Rogue."

The sound of her name, spoken so softly, stopped her. Turning she stared into his pain filled eyes.

"You still love her," she whispered. Gods, could she never win? How did she compete with a ghost? Closing her eyes she realized she'd never have Logan. Jean was the only one who would ever be able to hold his heart.

"I'll always love her, Rogue, but not in the way you mean. Enough time has passed for me to accept her death and move on. At least, that's the theory." He smiled unhappily. "I might need a little help to finally lay her to rest."

"Help?" she asked.

He dragged an agitated hand through his hair and growled, "You."

They stared at one another over the space of the kitchen, the silence thick.

Finally Rogue nodded. "Ok," she agreed, "ok. But not now, not tonight." _Not until I can process all this_, she thought._ Not until I can deal with trying to win the man I love from a ghost_. Turning she headed for the door, pausing briefly when she reached it. Glancing over her shoulder she said, "I missed you." Before he could reply she slipped into the waiting darkness.

"Me too, Rogue." Logan whispered to the empty room, touching a finger to his lips. "Me too."


End file.
